Teenage Rebellion

The music of our youth guides the way.

I’ve always listened to music specifically because I love the lyrics.

Songs are poetry that are mainstream and accepted.I love the depth of lyrics paired with melody.

There is something sacred about music that speaks directly to our human core.

I read somewhere recently that the music you listened to as a teen is about where your taste in music ends. Rarely does one embrace new music past this point of life.

The teenage years are full of growth, angst, finding oneself and starting to paint the cavas of the person you are growing into. It’s a time we are hustling to get out of but one that we reminisce about. So many times I’ve heard grown women say “I USED to be fun!”. Teenage-hood is what we’re referencing here, it’s a time when we get to push the limits and explore all in the name of rebellion. It’s what everyone tells us we are supposed to do. But past the teenage years there can be none of that.

I often feel like I’m living the best teenage version of myself now. The one I wish I had the confidence to be then.

Avril Lavigne is one of those artists that I haven’t let go of. For those of you who don’t know, Avril Lavigne is a punk singer/songwriter, she’s a bit alternative, but still mainstream.

Any Avril song can come on and instantly I’m doing karaoke with a hairbrush, eyes closed, feeling every drop of every word I’m saying. I can transport myself that quickly. I can jump right back into Amy Ash.

There is a simplicity in Avril’s lyrics that hit a teenage (and vulnerable) heart on the bullseye. What I love about Avril is that she’s rebellious and cool, but she didn’t cross over the line of being TOO rebellious or TOO “bad”. Her punkiness was more about just being herself and knowing her worth with a little twist of flirtation that freed her from the box of accepted “femininity”.

She represented everything I was on the inside as a teen (but not really on the outside).

I went to the Avril Lavigne Greatest Hits Concert tonight right down the street from my house at Credit One Stadium tonight with a soul sister of mine and it sent me once again down memory lane.

I remember first seeing the Avril Lavigne “Sk8er Boi” music video on TRL and LOVING her stick straight dirty blonde hair. So different from Brittany and Christina, the other icons of my youth. I LOVED that Avril skated with the boys, stuck out from the crowd of “Ashleys” and had confidence in being different. She became not really an icon for me, but she represented a confidence of self that I strived to embody.

I didn’t want to be punk, in the punky fashion-Y way, just a punk in the “just enough rebellion to feel like I’m true to myself” way. And the fact that I didn’t have to have cool clothes and make-up to do that was the breath of fresh air that I needed. I’ve never had an affinity for fashion or makeup so the freedom to go outside that box was nice.

And I love that she skateboarded. I’ve never been a sporty girl and especially not a team-sporty girl, so anything I could do solo called to me. Skateboarding felt cool and independent, but because I wasn’t sure I could commit to a skateboard on rock hard sidewalks, I did the next best thing: snowboarding. I was in the snowboarding club in high school and felt pretty free flying down the hills at night, fresh air brightening my cheeks. It didn’t hurt that the boys thought it was pretty cool too. I definitely remember singing Avril songs on the bus to the mountain. Ah, the taste and sounds of freedom (but freedom within reason- I could never be FULL on rebellious, just a little fringe).

But Avril’s lyrics also spoke to my darker side too and I appreciated her for that, she could hit all my ranges: rebellious, fun, flirty girl and dark, deep, feeler girl.

My favorite song has always been “Freak Out”, picture teenage Amy belting these lyrics out (and now picture 37 year old Amy doing the same thing, the lyrics hit even more poignantly now):

“Try to tell me what I shouldn't do

You should know by now

I won't listen to you

Walk around with my hands up in the air

'Cause I don't care

'Cause I'm alright, I'm fine

Just freak out, let it go

I'm gonna live my life

I can't ever run and hide

I won't compromise

'Cause I'll never know”

And of course from the song “Nobody’s Home”:

“She wants to go home but nobody’s home”

The lyrics just hit when you need them the most. A reminder that home is really just within you, not someone else. She hit that range of emotion I needed, the rollercoaster of life’s up and downs. A reminder that it’s okay to be the life of the party one day and rock bottom the next. Then somewhere in between the next.

At each point in life I can come back to these lyrics and be transported right back to those moment as a teen, but also feel the lyrics in a new way, in my grown, more wise, self.

Each year I get more human and each time I, myself, have evolved and I sometimes feel a little pinch of sadness for the girl I’ve lost along the way. Like that girl has been left behind as I’ve grown into someone better, with more solid ground to stand on.

What a gift to grow, to mature, to be able to look back at my teenage self with love, understanding, and no regrets. That girl felt so much and this girl still feels as much, just this girl has more solid insides.

Music has a way of bringing all of it full circle.

Time to belt it all out. Go give a concert of a band from your youth, pour it all out, let out those teenage feels and live.

“When it’s just you and me

We don’t need anyone to tell us who to be”

-“Rock N’ Roll” Avril Lavigne