The Halfway Point
July is a good time to pause and look both forward and backward.
I love a good halfway point. When I was teaching I would always know exactly when I was halfway through my day: 11 am. I know everyone’s half birthday in my family; mine is September 1. And the best thing ever is having lunch at Bill and Fran’s, a restaurant that is almost exactly halfway between Charleston and my mother-in-law’s place in North Carolina.
The halfway point makes things feel do-able, achievable, but also the halfway point gives the existential person in me a solid reminder that time is passing, that life is moving forward, slipping through my fingertips as I frantically look for the overflow bowl to hold onto it all. This is not an anxious, frantic-ness though, it’s more of a reminder to pause, stop, and soak in what has been; it’s a moment of peaceful reflection and a moment to breathe in the excitement of the next thing, riding the wave of what is to come.
The halfway point lends itself to noticing.
It is July. We are halfway through 2025. It’s the perfect time to be here in this moment, now, pause, and look back and then take a deep breath of gratitude and then pause and look froward. Deep breath of gratitude again. Which I realize can sound annoying, but really, what else are we here for if not to be grateful?
“We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand, and melting like a snowflake”. -Marie Ray
Looking back on the calendar from January to now shows a full and complete social life, this is something I’m particularly proud of because transitioning out of teaching and into a full time role at home I worried, in the back of my mind, about losing a base of built in friends and socializing at work with both amazing colleagues and students alike. But reflecting on these months I note that I reached out to and maintained my own friendships along with my children’s blossoming friendships. My husband did too and I’m noticing that we prioritized including time and energy into our social network; it’s paid off because those relationships continue to fulfill and flourish. I even got to reconnect with my cousin who I hadn’t seen in about 15 years and got to have my mom here for over a week just basking in our “regular” days together. A luxury we don’t get living so far away from one another.
I took a fun risk at my birthday this year and dyed my hair a deep and beautiful red; this is something I had always had on my list to do and finally set up the appointment and went through with it. It transformed me into a more spunky and fun person because I saw myself in a new light and not necessarily because of the hair but because of the boldness of the move. It made me feel alive and though it’s faded now into a more strawberry blonde I still love the effects.
We’ve also prioritized exploring all the more local attractions that Charleston has to offer hiking in the Francis Marion Forest, paddle boarding in Beresford Creek, and enjoying our annual revisiting of Bishopville where Nick grew up. One of our favorite things to do with the girls is go off and explore new places and they love getting off the beaten path (something my parents definitely instilled in me!). We saw and loved Legally Blonde on stage at Dock Street Theater and I got to see Avril Lavigne in concert just down the street from my house. Art in all its formats always draws me to tears.
I traveled to Baltimore to meet my mom and sister for our annual Mother/Daughter retreat and immensely enjoyed the time we devote to each other.
I’ve been a substitute fitness instructor for Fit Mommy Charleston which was a group important to me after having Tegan; it was my step into the mom world and back into my love for working out. It’s been so cool to be on the teaching side of things and chatting with new moms again!
Watching and supporting Nick alongside his work ventures has been lucrative and engaging this year; it’s always fun to see his progress and be his HR department. We’ve both learned and grown in the process of growing his business and it’s been incredible to note that I’ve been able to stay home based off of the success he has had. That is definitely worth noting and celebrating. What a cool thing to have told our 22 year-old selves just starting out as a couple. It’s also been a really strong year for us as a couple. Another big thing of note.
I’ve really stepped into the role of “mother” this year, too. Though I have been mothering for 9 years I feel like I’ve hit my stride this year. I am more confident in my parenting, more engaged with my girls than I’ve ever been, and more excited about all that comes with it. It’s been a long road to get here. I’m relishing in it. I made a commitment to be more creative with the girls and it’s paid off; we create more art and engage with each other than we ever have, I’m devoted to more presence with them and finding myself feeling more alive and more inspired.
I feel more confident in the kitchen and have served many a meal I’m proud of in the last few months. I always said I would be Julia Child by 40, ha, I’m on the path!
I’ve re-devoted myself to mediation these past few months and have noticed I’m less tired, more energized and more fun. I’ll stand behind that 100%. Relaxing and taking things easier (reducing my worrying and anxiety) has been the focus this year and I am proud of the progress I feel. It’s worth the discipline and the journey.
So here I am, at the halfway point: deep breath.
Deep.
Breath.
and gratitude, for getting here.
For being here now.
For having and maintaining everything I have gained.
And now the look-ahead.
I have about 6 weeks of summer with my girls home to look forward to; that means pool-time, river/beach exploration, library visits, porch sitting, art creating, baking and cooking, and sleeping in time. It means barefoot walks and tree climbing with root beer floats on the porch.
Then a drift into a new school year and watching the girls grow in their own spaces while I thrive in mine. Another year outside the confines of a classroom. I feel more distant from it now and I look forward to that continued drift into my new phases and rhythms.
I’ve got a visit with my sister and a Blink 182 concert with two great friends coming up. More subbing of Fit Mommy, and a Charles Dickens Christmas dinner with a close couple friend of ours that has become a tradition.
Nick will be wrapping up projects and we look forward to more one on one time together exploring the area while the girls are in school and when they are out. And of course enjoying and indulging in the Christmas season, our favorite time of year.
My goals for 2025 remain the same for now: maintain close relationships, explore, be creative and sit in peace. I want to continue to slow down, notice the moments, and find that I can be playful and calm, even when my to-do list isn’t done.
It’s now, the moment is now. We never know when the halfway point of our lives are. Or the halfway point in the lives of the people we love.
And I’m grateful for the pause between heartbeats to remind me.
My existential heart beat is slow and mindful.
Here we are. In the halfway.
*A reminder that here I’m solely focusing on the positives, which is generally the way my brain works anyway, but there have, of course, been struggles, anxieties, hard relationships, etc. that I’ve been working through at this halfway point. I just choose not to those write about those publicly.
**Just a gentle reminder in case this all seems too easy. But I do make a conscious effort to look at the bright-side and be grateful.
Here’s my wheel for 2025. I reflect at the end of each month and doodle the inspirations that come to me. It’s a meditative way to make the transition into the next month. It’s become a ritual.